So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
