If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize