i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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