You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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