Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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