just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
