I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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