Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
