Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize