i just sent this text using only my big toe
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
