so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize