the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
