Redeem this text for a blowjob
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
