And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
