I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i love accidental penises.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
