So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
