If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so let's talk penis.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
