im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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