I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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