No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We had sex on a dog bed..
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize