hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
party gras won. party gras always wins.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize