so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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