and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
