i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
