Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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