ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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