what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
