I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
