It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
