Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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