No stitches, just platelets and will power
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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