So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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