I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
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