dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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