i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
