I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
