i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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