Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
