Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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