she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
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