So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
