i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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