he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
