I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
