stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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