I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
