it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
