they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
