He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
