You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
