just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
