i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
