im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize