Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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