so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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