laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
