ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
