If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
