There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
