i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
