Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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