so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Randomize
