She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I need to calm my uterus...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
