meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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