Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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