no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Barsexuality is the new black.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
