My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
