question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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