consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
