Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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