Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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