Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
